Poking around Facebook can be a huge waste of time as we all know, or it can prove to be very informative.  Last night, it was the latter for me as I stumbled across a post by one of my favorite pediatricians, Dr. Jen of Lakeshore Medical Clinic Breastfeeding Medicine.  She mentioned that she was headed to Boston next week to speak at the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) annual meeting.  So of course I decided to look up the information on the web, specifically to see which companies would be exhibiting.  I was most curious to know if any breastfeeding related companies would be there, and if so who and how many would be represented.  And a simple search revealed enough information to ignite this post.

Upon searching for the word ‘breastfeeding’ four names appeared: La Leche League International, Lansinoh Laboratories, Inc., Medela, Inc., and Nursery Water.

Nursery Water? What in the world does it have to do with breastfeeding? The company description begins with,"Breastfeeding is the best nutritional option for babies. However, breastfeeding may not be an option or a choice for some women..." Breastfeeding is about so much more than nutrition, is it not?

When I searched for ‘breast milk’ the search yielded: Abbott Nutrition, the makers of Similac infant formula and many other products, and Milkin’ Cookies, which are lactation cookies designed to help a breastfeeding mom boost her milk supply.

Just searching for the word ‘breast’ resulted in the longest list, with businesses ranging from formula companies to baby wearing companies.

All of these companies listed "breast" somewhere in their description, which is why they populated as a result when searching specifically for that word.

Needless to say I am disappointed. I am frustrated and I am concerned.  I have said on multiple occasions that any healthcare professional that has contact with babies should be required to have breastfeeding knowledge.  When babies are born they do three things: eat, sleep and poop.  That’s it.  If as a doctor babies are your specialty, then you should be an expert in those three areas.  So why and how is it, that so many pediatricians have zero exposure to breastfeeding in their training?  How are we shortchanging so many parents and babies when it comes to receiving accurate medical advice about infant feeding, especially in a nation where we pay for healthcare out of our own pockets?

Clearly the lack of breastfeeding education is a problem that needs to be addressed in at least two ways.  First, is education for M.D.s, it just needs to be added to their courses of study.  Secondly, parents need to be educated about feeding choices so that they will then ask questions in an attempt to gain information and guidance from their doctors and healthcare professionals.  (Prenatal education is lacking in many ways, and this falls in the realm of Obstetricians/Gynecologists, which is another post in and of itself).  In theory, if parents were to put pressure on the healthcare industry, it should respond and begin to meet their expectations.

So let’s go back to the AAP exhibitor floor plan which has me so bothered and dismayed.  At last year’s conference in San Francisco, there were over 12,000 attendees, including professionals, press, vendors, etc.  That is a pretty large audience, and this year there are less than a handful of companies, which includes one non-profit, La Leche League International, who will be representing the entire breastfeeding industry.   We are talking over 350 exhibitors, and we have four from the breastfeeding industry, a whopping .01% of the exhibitors are representing an industry which relates to every single pediatrician’s practice! Have you ever met a baby that didn’t need to eat? Me either.

Why are more breastfeeding companies/organizations not showing up at this convention to meet these doctors – the pediatricians who work with babies everyday – to educate them, reach out to them, and to work alongside them?  These are the ‘front lines’ so to speak, these are the people who need the most education, who have the resources to help us really increase breastfeeding rates in this country, and whose job it is to educate parents and take care of babies.  Clearly, infant formula companies like Abbott Nutrition, Nestle Nutrition and Mead Johnson believe they are a worthy audience, because the size of their booth spaces is staggering.  Can you imagine how much free formula will be on hand for doctors to learn about/take home, as well as countless promotional items emblazoned with their brands (pens, sticky notes, lanyards, measuring tapes, growth charts, etc)?  Meanwhile the one non-profit present, LLLI , will shoulder the weight of breastfeeding education to this crowd, in their 10’ x 10’ booth handing out “Got Breastmilk” buttons while completely lost in the shadow of the corporate giants.  Medela, arguably the most well-recognized breast pump company among consumers, and which at other shows is usually one of the largest exhibitors (I just saw their exhibit at the ABC Kids Show in Louisville, KY last month – it was expansive), has only a space twice that of  the other breastfeeding related companies.  Maybe Medela does not need to spend the same amounts of money because they own a huge market share of the breast pump market, especially in hospitals.  And sadly, Medela is not even a WHO Code compliant company anymore, as in 2009 it made a conscious decision to start marketing their bottles, a direct violation of the Code.

The bottom line is money talks, and the big three formula companies (Abbott, Mead Johnson and Nestle) have billions of dollars to spend.  We all know that these companies use free formula as a marketing strategy to get parents hooked on their products, and it is proven that brand loyalty is fierce – parents tend to buy what they were given in the hospitals.  The formula companies know this, which is why you receive coupons in the mail for months after your baby is born.  These corporations also know that for the free-formula model to work, doctors must be on board, they are the distributors – a necessary audience – and at this convention they are captive. So that is why Abbott Nutrition’s booth dimensions are 40’ x 40’, and Nestle Nutrition’s booth dimensions are 50’ x 30’.  Mead Johnson Nutrition only has a booth that is 20’ x 40’, smaller than their competitors, but I am sure they will make up for it somehow.

How much money are we talking about here? Let’s do the math: a 10’ x 10’ booth space sells for $3050.  Abbott’s booth is 1600 square feet in size (I’ve lived in smaller spaces!).  If the going rate is $30.50/square foot, does that mean they paid $48,800 for that booth? And that means Nestle Nutrition paid $45,750 for theirs, and Mead Johnson $24,400?  This is just the cost of the space – it does not include the tens of thousands of dollars spent on installations, freight, set up, tear down, manpower, etc.  A quick Google search revealed that Abbott’s net sales for worldwide in 2010 totaled $35.2 Billion, up 14% from 2009’s total of $30.8 Billion.  You can look for the numbers on Nestle and Mead Johnson, I am sure they are even more mind-blowing, considering they weren’t battling a beetle recall as  Abbott did with its Similac brand in the summer of 2010.

Taken from Abbott Nutrition's 2010 Annual Report

So this is the best we have to offer to the Fellows of the American Academy of Pediatrics at their annual meeting: one non-profit, two breast pump companies, and some lactation cookies?  I appreciate the efforts of these four companies, but clearly their collective efforts are not going to win the hearts of the pediatricians.  We need more, people! How can we increase the presence of breastfeeding related companies at future annual meetings? Notice I am not asking, if we can, but how we can affect change.  How can we get more doctors to support us as parents and to help us make educated decisions on how we can best feed our babies? Next week at the AAP conference there will be over a 12,000 people present for a total of four days, all of them looking for information and wanting to make connections, an opportunity, which cannot be wasted.  We need to find a way to promote change, because from the perspective of a Lactation Professional, when you look at the floor plan of the exhibitors present at this year’s American Academy of Pediatrics convention, it is disheartening, and quite frankly in my opinion, a colossal let down.

Which companies and organizations would you like to see represented at next year’s meeting? I’d love for you to share your thoughts please.

from left to right: Kate, Lara and Sylvia. The Hygeia sales reps. are amazing, they took such great care of me! And don't they look wonderful in their custom MamaPear Designs' "Peace. Love. Breastfeeding" T-shirts?

Two weeks ago, I experienced a reality for many breastfeeding mamas, one that in my now fifty-two months of breastfeeding I had not been forced to realize: relying on the use of a breast pump to support my breastfeeding relationship with my toddler.  It’s not that I had never pumped, I actually pumped before I ever breastfed my first baby, as when he was born he was sent to the NICU for forty-eight hours.  I started pumping immediately post-partum, but that was just for the first twenty-four hours of his life.  I pumped a little when he was a baby to relieve occasional engorgement while we established our breastfeeding relationship, but other than that, I never pumped.  To be exact, until two weeks ago, it had been three years since I used a breast pump.

A couple of months ago, I was invited to the ABC Kids Expo by Wendy Armbruster Bell, founder of Snugabell Mom and Baby Gear, to help her work her booth at the show.  It was an opportunity that I really wanted to seize, but the one thing holding me back was the fact that I would have to pump if I was gone, and I was not quite sure how my two year old would do without nursing for three and a half days.  And of even greater concern was could I get a pump, and would I be able to keep up my supply while I was traveling.

Once I decided to attend, I knew I was going to need some help, so I reached out to the one pump company that I recommend to all who ask: Hygeia.  I recommend these pumps because Hygeia is a WHO Code compliant company, their pumps are eco-friendly in that the entire pump can be recycled, all you have to do is return it to Hygeia, they take care of the rest!  In addition, their pumps employ a closed-system which means they can be used by more than one mother, a feature that is really important for health and safety reasons, and because pumps can be reused by multiple moms – it means less waste for the landfills.  In addition to selling a high-quality eco-friendly product, Hygeia has wonderful customer service.  Immediately I reached out to Kate from Hygeia, (affectionately known as @HygeiaKate on twitter) to see if I could borrow a pump to use while at the expo as Hygeia was exhibiting as well.  Of course Wendy loaned me a PumpEase to use with the pump, to make life even easier (and more fashionable ) Everyone I asked to help me was very accommodating and happy to loan me whatever I needed to help keep up my supply while I was away from home.

After a long day of traveling to the event, I immediately went to the hotel and began pumping with the Hygeia Enjoye and my PumpEase.  As I said, I had not pumped in three years, and I found the Hygeia pump easy to use, very comfortable, and best of all – it worked! I was able to pump!  I don’t really know any mom who loves to pump, we do it when and if it is necessary, but compared to breastfeeding it does take a little extra work.  I can say thanks to the PumpEase hands-free pumping bra from Snugabell Mom and Baby Gear, it was much less cumbersome.  I have recommended this product as well to pumping moms who want to be freed from holding the flanges to their breasts for long periods of time.  Many moms find that freeing their hands allows them to relax, focus on something else, which in turn helps increase their pumping output.  You know what they say, a watched pot never boils… well the same can be said for pumping and bottles – sometimes the more you watch and wait for the milk to fill the bottle the less milk comes out of the breast.  I loved having my hands free because it allowed me to watch videos and look at pictures of my boys on my phone which helped me let down and release milk more easily.

In addition to loaning me a pump, Hygeia set up a very comfortable breastfeeding/pumping station in their expo booth.  It came complete with a comfy arm chair, nursing foot rest, privacy screen, a nursing cover, PumpEase hands-free nursing bras, and a basket of snacks because after all a breastfeeding mom needs an extra snack or two, right?  Some moms came to pump, others came to breastfeed,and there was always someone available to help me set up and to make sure I had everything I needed.

Here I am relaxing and pumping in the Hygeia nursing corner, making the magic happen with the Hygeia Enjoye and a fashionable PumpEase hands-free pumping bra!

Pumping while traveling was a great experience for me.  As a lactation professional it gave me the opportunity to “practice what I preach” about pumping and the chance to take my own advice.  It was also a wonderful opportunity to use the high-quality products I recommend to breastfeeding mothers, which only made me more certain that I am recommending some of the best products out there.  I must admit I was a little nervous about arriving home to see my two year old, not knowing if he would still want to breastfeed as we had never spent even a single night apart, and I hoped all of that hard work pumping five times a day, was not in vain.  Thanks to the Hygeia Enjoye and a PumpEase hands-free pumping bra, when I stepped off the plane and was reunited with my toddler, my milk supply was intact and ready to meet the demands of a little boy who missed his mama… and her milk!  Thank you to Hygeia and Snugabell for supporting me as a breastfeeding mother – you made it possible for me to enjoy the experience so much more than I could have imagined!

Are you in need of a hands-free pumping bra? Head over to Snugabell, use code MAMAPEAR15 when you check out, and save 15% off your order!

Nurturing Your Gorgeous & Growing Baby By Breastfeeding: Featuring Baby-Led Breastfeeding

Today marks the end of World Breastfeeding Awareness month and I am so excited to share this post with you! Last month I had the pleasure of exhibiting at the annual ILCA conference, which afforded me the opportunity to meet a fantastic array of people, from Lactation Professionals, to other business owners. I was very excited to meet David Stark, with whose work I was slightly familiar. I knew  he was debuting his second parenting film, “Nurturing Your Growing & Gorgeous Baby By Breastfeeding,” and I was very curious to get a peek at it!  It just so happened during set-up for the convention that I saw Mr. Stark, and I made sure to introduce myself.  Over the next few days, I am lucky to say that we were able to chat about his work, this particular video, and about what we’d like to see in the future regarding the culture of breastfeeding education.  Mr. Stark was kind enough to let me have a video to view, and I promised I would review it and blog about my feelings, impression and reaction to his work. I just hope I can do it justice!

This film is based on the baby-led breastfeeding technique, which is quite simply that the mother follows baby’s cues, and works to keep baby comfortable while nursing. It involves lots of skin to skin, and emphasizes a very calm approach to keep baby relaxed so as to facilitate easier feeds.  The film has a very clear, linear, approach to introducing and discussing breastfeeding. It begins with birth and shows beautiful footage of a breast crawl.  It then moves on to discuss the stages of milk production, various feeding positions, the important role of your partner, answers some frequently asked questions, talks about where to find support, and finally discusses pumping and going back to work.  Overall, it is very well-rounded in its scope for being just under thirty minutes in length.

“As a breastfeeding mom, you are automatically enrolled in the world’s oldest and largest support group.”

I currently use a breastfeeding video in my classes which teaches the same approach of baby-led breastfeeding.  I can honestly say that I will be switching and using Mr. Stark’s DVD from now on.  In addition to all of the reasons I listed above, quite simply put the film is gorgeous. It has a very clean, but not sterile, look to it, and every mother and her baby appears to have a natural glow. The women aren’t perfect, there are stretch marks, pudgy tummies, and all of the other remnants of motherhood (badges of honor I like to think of them), but that is one more reason why I love it.   The film has an organic, peaceful feel, and many families can relate, because there is obvious cultural diversity in the people featured.

In addition, the breastfeeding images captured on film are stunning.  I kept telling my husband as we were watching it, “Oh I just want to touch that sweet, soft baby,” every time there was a shot of a mother cuddling her nursling. There are so many wonderful images of well-latched babies, various positions, and perhaps most amazingly, as I mentioned before -  Mr. Stark captured a healthy newborn doing what it does best – the breast crawl!

I am fortunate enough to be able to view the video from two different perspectives – as a mom and as a lactation educator.  And as I said, I will use this film for teaching , as it is educational, gives basic breastfeeding information, etc., but what it does so beautifully that I have not seen in any other video, is that it brings the amazing emotions that breastfeeding mothers experience, to life.  As a mother I can relate to all of those emotions, and as an educator I want pregnant couples to see these amazing emotions expressed by moms who are successfully breastfeeding.  In the early days of breastfeeding when mothers face obstacles and are struggling from feed to feed, the wonderful emotions expressed are sure to act as inspiration.  To hear the mothers in their own words, describe why they love breastfeeding is nothing short of tear-jerking at times.  So before you sit down to view this film, grab a tissue, and prepare to watch an incredible film, one might even say, incomparable!

For more information about David Stark and to purchase this video please visit BabyBabyOhBaby.

Here's my 2 year old nursing two babies, a perfect example of how he has learned breastfeeding is normal and acceptable.

Breastfeeding is normal. How many times have you heard that statement? Better yet, how many times have I said those words? Too many to count, but until more people believe it, I have to keep saying it.

I am currently nursing my youngest son who just turned two last week, and I still nurse in public with not even the slightest attempt to cover what we are doing.  Even though some people think he’s too old to be breastfeeding at all, I breastfeed him where other adults and children are present.  Why? I think it is important for adults to see that it is not “weird” and I think it is even more vital that children see us doing it, because they need to recognize breastfeeding as acceptable, and normal, human behavior.

I have never had anyone tell me to stop nursing, but I have had the odd look and occasional snicker from adults, in my long breastfeeding career (fifty-one months and counting).  Like most breastfeeding moms will tell you, the most important thing is satisfying our children’s needs, and those needs sometimes involve the breast and require satisfying, in a public area.

I have never though, had a child look at me funny, or avert their eyes because they caught a glimpse of me breastfeeding. If anything they are drawn to me out of curiousity.  Why don’t they care that my breast is exposed? Perhaps they have not been taught, yes that is right – taught, to believe that breastfeeding is something to hide, or that it is gross and shameful.  Or maybe they have not learned that a woman’s breasts have primarily one function as society sees it, and it is not for feeding babies.  Young children are not taught to be ashamed of their bodies, in fact they quite love being naked and usually the more naked they are the more giggly they become!  But as they grow, they learn about sexual differences between the genders, what is acceptable in terms of public decency, etc.  Sadly some children grow into adults who believe that breastfeeding is indecent, and should not be done in public.

I have two sons, and I want them to see women breastfeeding. They need to know that what is normal in our house is normal in other’s houses as well.  I do not care if they catch a glimpse of another woman’s breast, or a peek at even the “taboo” nipple, because the more women they see using their breasts for feeding babies, the more they will expect from society as they grow into adults.  Hopefully the more exposure they receive to breastfeeding as young boys, the more acceptance they will demand for the mothers of their children, should there still be issues surrounding breastfeeding at all. (I’m feeling optimtimistic!)

When I started breastfeeding my first son, I had no idea that the act would become so important for me in so many ways, but now four and a half years, and one little brother later, it has become a portal for so many other things.  I breastfeed because it is normal for me to do so, and I am hoping that when my children see other mothers breastfeeding as well, it serves to reinforce what I have taught them at home: Mommy is a mammal, and this is what her body was designed to do. It’s normal behavior.

So next time you see me at the park or in a restaurant, pull up a chair and a kid, and join me for a nursing session where we can teach without speaking, show love with no words, make an “owie” better without a band-aid, and feed our kids with no utensils!

So here I am a year later and I am on the cusp of reaching my first big goal!  Last summer, I created a vision board, and one of the first things I added to my board was the information for the International Lactation Consultant Association’s annual convention in San Diego, July 2011. I immediately started laying the groundwork, slowly working toward and envisioning my goal, and guess where I will be this July? I will be exhibiting at ILCA and debuting my new designs and products I created especially for healthcare professionals.

In honor of MamaPear Designs’ first anniversary, to promote breastfeeding, and to celebrate reaching my  goal, I am hosting my very first giveaway!   Fifteen (yes 15) lucky winners will each win one of the cutest bumper stickers I have seen in a while.  Stick it on the bumper of your car, your refrigerator, make a door hanger so you can pump at work, or stick it on your husband’s backside when he is not looking.  Really mamas, the possibilities are endless!

Let's spread the milky love, mamas!

To enter the giveaway, please leave a comment on this post, and feel free to tell me what your favorite item is in the store!  Also, I’d love to have your feedback as to if you would like to see this design on a shirt for mamas or onesies for babies!  One entry per person please.

The contest will run from June 27, 2011 until July 5, 2011. Your entry (posted comment) must be submitted my midnight (EST) on July 5.  The winners, all 15 of you, will be announced on July 6, 2011.   Thank you for entering, good luck to you all!

And last but not least, I would like to send a big thank you to everyone who has supported me in this last year. I look forward to more wonderful things in the future!

Thank you to everyone who entered and for all of the well wishes and compliments! I think we will definitely see this design on a shirt, so stay tuned to find out when it will make it’s debut! If you are a winner, please email me at info(at)mamapeardesigns(dot)com with your full name in the subject line and your address in the body of the email!
And the winners are…

Sarale (comment 2)

Katrina (comment 13)

Aurora (Comment 19)

Laura (comment 21)

Maya (comment 23)

Amanda (comment 34)

Stephanie (comment 38)

Tania M (comment 43)

Romeisha (comment 45)

Jolie (comment 47)

Carol (comment 57)

Danielle (comment 65)

Monique (comment 66)

Jennifer (comment 68)

Emily (comment 73)

If you didn’t win, you can stop by the store and purchase your sticker – use code TLB15 to save 15% until August 1, 2011 – and receive free shipping! Hurry over

As a result of that success, I was able to start having my most popular designs produced locally by a manufacturer who has very high quality standards equal to mine, and can produce a much higher quality product that is less expensive and made faster than CafePress was capable of doing.  So what does that mean for you? Quite simply, you get a locally produced, 100% organic cotton, super soft shirt/onesie, that  will be shipped to you for free!

I invite you to peek at the items for sale, and treat yourself to something, or buy a onesie for your baby or a pregnant friend!  Stay tuned for all of the exciting things we have coming in the future, and make sure you follow us on Facebook and Twitter so you never miss a chance to save as we will have promotions and giveaways from time to time!

Thank you for your support!

*If you are a vendor and are interested in adding MamaPear Designs to your store, please contact Lara via email: sales {at} mamapeardesigns {dot} com for information.



When you look at this picture you can clearly see that there is nothing to see. The nipple is what usually makes a breast taboo, and that is well hidden in my child’s mouth. Other than that there is some skin, but it is less than I have shown in other photos of myself in a bathing suit on Facebook.

I am sure he grew up hearing the jokes, Suckerberg, Schmuckerberg, %uckerberg, and the list could go on.  While I joke around and refer to Mark Zuckerberg as #Schmuckerberg on Twitter on a regular basis, I am not here to call names, but rather just call attention to the ridiculousness of the situation.

Today, I joined a growing list of women reprimanded by Facebook for posting a picture of myself breastfeeding my child.  Aside from nursing our babies, we all have something else in common: we are wondering, “What is the big deal?” Breastfeeding is natural, you can go to any zoo in the world and see the same thing.  I am a mammal, but why am I singled out as a human?

This morning when I tried to check Facebook from my iPhone I could not sign in.  I posted a quick tweet to see if Facebook was down, and then about 15 seconds later realized that I was in trouble for the picture I posted last week.  When I checked my email, I received this message:

Hello,

You uploaded a photo that violates our Terms of Use, and this photo has been removed. Facebook does not allow photos that attack an individual or group, or that contain nudity, drug use, violence, or other violations of the Terms of Use. These policies are designed to ensure Facebook remains a safe, secure and trusted environment for all users, including the many children who use the site.

If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page at http://www.facebook.com/help/?topic=wphotos.

The Facebook Team

I was then prompted to read and click agree to the warning when I signed in.  So I relented…caved…gave in and re-instated myself.

Due to the other well-known breastfeeding controversies on Facebook I will admit that I have considered ditching the place.  I certainly don’t need it to stay in contact with people.  I have a home phone, a cell phone, a website, about 10 email addresses, and twitter all at my disposal.  So why are we breastfeeding moms, those who Facebook clearly does not appreciate, afraid to take a hint and leave the place where we are not welcome?  Why do we keep showing up, letting Facebook make money off of us, and having access to our personal information, when clearly we have different values.  If this were any other relationship, would we stick around? Well I believe that it is simply that we just don’t like discrimination, even when it is in a virtual setting.  But is Facebook telling me that I can’t show my breastfeeding pictures the same as an ill-informed restaurant manager telling me I need to cover my baby to breastfeed in the dining room?  The virtual world is somewhat unchartered territory, and it comes with certain freedoms (in this case freedom to discriminate) that don’t exist in everyday life.  Clearly we disagree on what a breastfeeding photo is: Facebook considers it “Content that is pornographic or contains nudity, or is inappropriately sexual”.  I don’t consider it nudity, and certainly not pornographic or inappropriately sexual.  So am I just left to agree to disagree with Facebook?  I have a small (but steadily growing following, and Facebook has MILLIONS of users all over the globe.  This leads me to believe that they pay special attention to those pages associated with breastfeeding.  Otherwise there is no way they could keep up with all the photos that are posted on the site, the breastfeeding pictures would just fall through the cleavage, I mean cracks!

The double standard that Facebook practices regarding breasts is disgusting.  Want to see what I am talking about? Go on the site and search the following terms: tits and boobs.  Case closed.  Facebook, you need to start practicing what you preach, because you are going after breastfeeding women, and leaving alone all of the other perverts who post lewd and sexually explicit content makes your position transparent.  What I find ironic is that I, a breastfeeding mother who has no problem with an uncovered breast in public used to feed a baby, end up sounding prudish as I defend my position against Facebook.

I thought this post would make me feel better, but now I am all riled up and feeling more disgusted and less resolved.   I do know that I have a few pictures I will post, just because I want to push this envelope a little.  Stay tuned to my page… hopefully it will stay up.

I think about breastfeeding all the time, it’s my life as a breastfeeding mother, and it is a passion I have turned into a job.  But I am not just thinking “milk” all the time, I am thinking about breastfeeding and women and how we need greater education, access to better resources, and the ability to breastfeed freely where and how we want.

In our society, breasts are for ogling and for marketing of cars and toys for grown up men, not for the functionality of feeding babies.  But this is not the case everywhere.  In many societies, breasts are not seen as something to sexualize first, but rather their true purpose is noted.  We’ve all seen the National Geographic documentaries with bare-breasted mothers, babies on their hips, nursing at will, well into toddlerhood.  That is the biological and cultural norm in most places, just not here in America.   We are a society rich with double standards, and our attitude towards breasts is probably one of the best examples.

I have been a breastfeeding mom since January 2007, and I have breastfed everywhere, covered and uncovered.  I have been subject to odd glances, little snickers, etc., but I never minded because feeding and caring for my baby was always paramount to a stranger’s opinion.

My husband has been supportive of my breastfeeding, but to be honest, he always preferred that I cover.  He is not prudish, and certainly doesn’t mind a little cleavage showing in a shirt, but when it comes to breastfeeding, he prefers I use a cover.  Do I? No, because it is my decision.  But I have to wonder, how does this double standard exist in my own house – I am a feminist and a lactivist.   Just yesterday I remembered something that made me really think long and hard about our differences of opinion, and this glaring double standard, which I really hate to admit and acknowledge if truth be told.

Nursing my three-week old baby wearing much more than just a pair of bikini bottoms on beach. Why is topless on the beach okay, but not this?

In the summer of 2006, when I was about 14 weeks pregnant with my oldest son we traveled to St. Maarten for vacation.  I was teaching at the time, so I was on summer break, and we both knew that it would be our last kid-free vacation for quite some time.  It was a lovely vacation, spent on the beach, relaxing and enjoying the break from our normal routine.  Being that we were in St. Maarten we of course were on beaches where women were topless.  It is not my style to just walk around topless on the beach, I suppose I am pretty American in that sense, but at my husband’s suggestion, I decided to try to “blend in” (which was really impossible, given my tan lines).  So I did it, I took off my top and sunbathed wearing just bikini bottoms.  How did it feel? A little odd, but there were breasts of all shapes and sizes on display around me, so I didn’t feel too out of place.  So there it is, breasts on display for display’s sake is okay, but they shouldn’t be seen when feeding a baby.

So we have this cultural belief that breasts are to be covered, the nipple is taboo, and even my husband, who supports me, and all of my hard work, is victim to this mindset.  It was fine for me to go topless on vacation in the bright light of the day on a beach, but if I am to be nursing our child at the playground with a shirt on, and a nursing tank he prefers I cover.  Wait, what?

As I said, I hate to admit this is the case, but it is, and I need to recognize it and work to change the perception of breasts as something to be hidden.   Am I alone, does anyone else have a double standard that is alive and well in their house that they are willing and ready to confess?  Pull up a seat, I’d sure like some company over here.

I can do it just about anywhere.  In a car, in a park, on an airplane, on a bed, on the couch, at a pool, on the beach, standing up, sitting down, while cooking dinner, while eating dinner, really the possibilities are endless.  What am I talking about? Breastfeeding of course.  I never imagined that when I started breastfeeding my oldest son in January of 2007, that I would be feeding him in so many various places, and positions for that matter. I am now breastfeeding my second son, I have been nursing for 40 months and counting, and I am still amazed at how wonderful this part of motherhood is.

Breastfeeding is the best relationship; it always feels even, not as if one person is taking without giving.  I have gotten, and still am getting, so much from breastfeeding my children.  For me, it makes the toughest part of motherhood, the feeling like I am being pulled in a million different directions, bearable.  Personally for me, motherhood requires more emotional stamina than physical strength, and the calming chemical reactions that take place when I breastfeed, make the job doable.  Without fail, every time I feed my baby, I utter the words, “Oh I love you so much” and snuggle him for a smooch on the head.  I cannot help it, it is involuntary, and I love it!

As I mentioned I have been breastfeeding for a long time, and I have pretty much committed the act everywhere possible.  What I do not understand, and never will, is how feeding my baby can be offensive to anyone.  Unfortunately, I have been laughed, sneered, and pointed at while breastfeeding in public.  It has never stopped me from feeding my child, obviously his needs come first, but it certainly has made me think and wonder, why women who breastfeed in public are sometimes shamed for doing so.  For me breastfeeding is not just about giving my child a meal, it is about affection, the two are inseparable.  Breastfeeding is intimate, and not because it involves a breast, but because it is ultimately a display of affection.  If you have breastfed your baby, you know that when you look at that sweet face as they are latched on, or as they give you a little smile between swallows, you as a mother melt a little bit, and at that moment really little else matters.  Is this intimacy between mother and child what bothers people? I know that some say they are offended by a breast being partially bare in public, but is that really all that bothers them? Or does breastfeeding make them feel uncomfortable, as seeing two people kissing in deep passionate manner, does. I have to think that the discomfort and negative attitudes are about more than just a slight show of skin because we are surrounded by half naked women at all times through the media and in public.

I would love to see the discrimination toward breastfeeding moms disappear, and for no mother to ever feel that she should have to cover up or hide while breastfeeding her baby, all in an effort to make others comfortable.  We as a society need to re-evaluate our social norms, and start accepting and embracing one of the most natural displays of human affection there is: breastfeeding.

Today I happened to be talking to a close friend who has a baby, less than a year old, and they are enjoying a happy breastfeeding relationship.   Like every breastfeeding mom, she worked hard in the beginning stages and early weeks when her baby was a newborn, and now they have breastfeeding down to a science! She reads her baby’s cues, and offers access to the breast when he wants, whether he is hungry or wants soothing, or just snuggles. During our conversation today,  she asked me for advice because her family has made comments that her baby is a “mama’s boy”.  She is hurt and offended by these comments, and frankly a little confused because he is after all – a baby.

So I started thinking, why are we so judgmental about babies being babies? And it seems to be that we judge the breastfed babies a little more harshly. Enter the derogatory phrase: titty baby.  A breastfed baby often turns to the mother for comfort first, they know where the milk comes from! Why wouldn’t a baby want comfort in a pair of loving arms, on a warm lap, close to mom’s face where they can get the kisses that make everything better?  They aren’t being choosy or acting spoiled, they are simply following their natural cues and instincts.  Why is it a bad thing if a baby wants comfort at the breast? Why are mothers told not to soothe a hurt child at the breast, but rather use distraction to ease a child’s pain?  There’s a reason why a hurting baby or child wants to be at the breast, because breastfeeding is analgesic, it’s scientifically proven.  So the ‘titty baby’ knows what it needs for comfort, and it just seems silly to deny that.

In my former life I was a high school teacher, it was before I had kids, and the experience taught me many valuable lessons.  One lesson has resonated with me well into motherhood, and it is applicable in this scenario.  I was told one time as part of my training that when you meet with a parent and are talking about their child with them, remember that in their eyes, their child is the best thing they have ever done.  As a mom I know that is true, my boys are my greatest accomplishments, and nothing I do for the rest of my life will top them!  So when someone makes a comment like, “Oh what a little ‘titty baby’” or anything to that effect about your child, they are criticizing the best thing you have ever done.  And it hurts.  When it comes to breastfeeding, remarks like these can be dangerous and detrimental to the breastfeeding relationship.*  It can rob a new mother of confidence and make her less sure of something she knows she is doing right and that is best for her baby.  Beware of these remarks, and do not let them deter you from your breastfeeding goals.

So should someone make a disparaging remark about your ‘titty baby’, turn it into a compliment! With a smile say thank you, why yes he is! The truth is one day before you know it, your baby won’t turn to your breast anymore, but you will both have the memories and the bond that breastfeeding created!

*For more information about how to steer clear of “booby traps”, please visit www.bestforbabes.org